I was planning to write a practical advice column this month (puppy house-training tips – let me know if you want to read it next month), but instead I decided to go completely impractical and tackle one of the biggest mysteries you will ever encounter as a dog owner:

Why does my dog turn around in a circle about a million times before pooping?

Here is the short and fully unsatisfying answer – nobody knows.

But, as with every mystery, there are theories.

It’s magnetic poles! Some studies suggest dogs show preference to align themselves to the Earth’s magnetic field on the south-north axis before going number two. It’s a fun theory and easy to test if you live in the Heights with its street grid. My personal dog completely ignores the study and faces east, west and all the directions in between equally (yes, I might have made notes at some point). Obviously, dogs don’t carry around compasses (no pockets) but, like a lot of other animals they are sensitive to the magnetic field (it’s called ‘magnetoreception’ and you just learned a cool new word).

Gotta stay alert! This theory makes more sense to me. Before your dog commits to do something that will render them vulnerable and unable to move for a while (try running while you poop!), they want to make sure they’re safe – no enemy dogs, noisy gardeners, scary trucks or veterinarians are around to surprise them.

Comfort. Turning around and trampling all that tall grass is supposed to make it softer and less ticklish on the rear end. It might also scare away any insects or other creatures that might be hiding in there.

I was here! There are scent glands located on dog’s paws and by turning around, dogs spread their pheromones that let other dogs know this is their territory. My problem with this theory – aren’t feces already smelly enough? (Even when they’re promptly picked up by the diligent owner). However, pooping in a spot that does smell familiar might be comforting to a dog.

Get things going. All that turning around is apparently good for stimulating the intestines and helping the bowel movement.

I’m inclined to think that there might be more than just one thing going on there. Do you have any theories why dogs circle before they poop? Does your dog do it?